Merrily rolling along

Because some days it's easier, and some days it isn't. Not that I'm not happy! I am an adult now, but sometimes I feel like that scared teenager with the uncertain fashion sense and the curious desire for approval. I am no longer prone to wild swings on the pendulum of emotion, and I don't think I can feel things so deeply now as I was able to back then, when every day it was a challenge even to put clothes on and go to school and to smile and to eat.

It's just, it's one of those days when it feels like I want to crawl out of myself, as if my own skin were too tight to fit all of me. (Like, you know, my clothes.) I wish there were an Obliviate for real life so you could take away the most terrible parts, the worst parts, so you could never go back to them and feel that before they happened, how much smoother and smaller was your heart.
------------------------------------------

Not a day goes by,
Not a single day.

But you're somewhere a part of my life,
And it looks like you'll stay.

As the days go by,
I keep thinking, "When does it end?
Where's the day I'll have started forgetting?"

But I just go on
Thinking and sweating
And cursing and crying
And turning and reaching
And waking,
And dying.

And no,
Not a day goes by,
Not a blessed day.

But you're still somehow part of my life
And you won't go away.

And I have to say,
If you did, I'd die.
I'll die day after day
After day after day,
After day after day,
After day.

Till the days go by,
Till the days go by,
Till the days go by.