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Wait, I just feel like I have to blog about this. Since my grade school friends came over last Sunday I've been on another trip down the rabbit hole of childhood memories. Since I don't remember most of what actually happened, I feel compelled to track down the media that surrounded me then--music and cartoons and other TV shows. It was really wonderful watching my favorite anime, Ranma 1/2, and knowing I could talk about the series at school; it was still showing on RPN 9 and was so mainstream that it wasn't odd for us to know the show. One of the most squee-worthy moments of my early life was when I was discussing with one Sister what song we could sing for a presentation, and I said I was thinking of doing this song from Ranma 1/2 called Omoide ga Ippai (see previous blog entry). Imagine my surprise when she not only readily assented, but even furnished me with a MINUS ONE TAPE. How cool were those nuns? Other than being extremely talented (they wrote all of the beautiful songs for our musical play, Tsuru no Ongaeshi), they were also terribly kind and patient and just awesomely cool.

On a somewhat related note, there is this song from Fushigi Yuugi that I've been singing to myself all these years. When it was showing, I didn't even know the word "fandom" existed, and anyway there weren't many resources like lyric sites or anime information sites back then, so I never knew the real lyrics--I just listened to the VHS recording I had over and over again, wrote down the lyrics as best I could, and, armed with only a smattering of Japanese, to understand some of what it meant. Needless to say I was entirely unsuccessful. It never occurred to me to search for the song using God's gift to my generation, Google. After a few hits and misses, here it is. It's as beautiful as I remember it :)

通り過ぎる　恋人たちの笑い声
胸をしめつける
雨上がりの　週末の午後なのに
私　一人　街を歩く
そばにいたいのに

そんなこと　わかっていたはず
好きになれば　なっただけ
苦しむこと
せつないね　わかっているのに
想っている　あなただけを
こんなに　逢えないときも

どんな時も　一緒にいてほしいなんて
思っちゃいけないと
おさえていた　私の心の声
止められずに
今もあふれそうで　苦しいの

☆私には　わかっていたはず
　愛したって　独り占め
　できないこと
　でも今は　大切な想い
　私だけが　見える真実(ほんと)
　信じて　愛し続ける

Romanized lyrics

toorisugiru
koibito-tachi no waraigoe
mune wo shimetsukeru

ameagari no
shuumatsu no gogo na no ni
watashi hitori machi wo aruku
soba ni
itai no ni

sonna koto wakatte-ita hazu
suki ni nareba natta dake
kurushimu koto

setsunai ne wakatte-iru no ni
omotte-iru anata dake wo
konna ni
aenai toki mo

donna toki mo
issho ni ite hoshii nante
omoccha ikenai to

osaete-ita
watashi no kokoro no koe
tomerarezu ni ima mo afure
sou de
kurushii no

watashi ni wa wakatte-ita hazu
aishitatte hitorijime
dekinai koto

demo ima wa taisetsu na omoi
watashi dake ga mieru hontou
shinjite
aishi-tsudzukeru

watashi ni wa wakatte-ita hazu
aishitatte hitorijime
dekinai koto

demo ima wa taisetsu na omoi
watashi dake ga mieru hontou
shinjite
aishi-tsudzukeru

English translation

The laughing voices
of lovers passing by
makes me get all choked up.

Even though the rain has stopped
on this weekend afternoon,
I'm walking the streets all alone,
even though
I want to be with you.

I should have known this.
If I fell in love with you that much,
I would hurt just as much.

Even though I know it's heart-wrenching,
I keep thinking only of you,
even when
I can't see you.

Even though
I know I shouldn't think about
how I wish we could always be together

Even now, the voice of my heart,
which I've tried to suppress,
seems to overflow
endlessly...
so much so that it hurts.

I should have known.
I just can't keep my love for you
inside, all to myself.

But now, it's a precious thought.
I believe in the truth
only I see,
and keep on loving you.

I should have known.
I just can't keep my love for you
inside, all to myself.

But now, it's a precious thought.
I believe in the truth
only I see,
and keep on loving you.